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Tue May 14, 2024
	Woman in Tennessee denied an abortion after fetus medically determined to be a future MAGA voter source: independent.co.uk \| share: Copy Link	7
	Twin saves her sister by repeatedly punching a crocodile in the face. Let's see Rule 34 cover that one source: bbc.co.uk \| share: Copy Link	13
	Day 811 of WW3: Russia "achieving tactical success" after launching assault towards Kharkiv, and U.K.'s Labour party, widely expected to win next general election, affirms its "ironclad" commitment to Ukraine. This is your Tuesday Ukraine war thread source: theguardian.com \| share: Copy Link	34
	Check the door bolts source: wftv.com \| share: Copy Link	5
	Scientists are studying what to do about your cheating-ass wife when she goes off to the Moon with your sonofabiatch former business partner source: metro.co.uk \| share: Copy Link	15
	Oklahoma judge has racked up a road rage incident and 2 drive-by shootings, but swears his gun was stolen right after the last shooting. Does he think Oklahoma residents are stupid? source: lawandcrime.com \| share: Copy Link	11
	German boobies-unification Veterans' Day source: theguardian.com \| share: Copy Link	20
	"Woman found dead accused estranged husband, pastor, of 'grooming' her at church." So dead women DO tell tales source: wjactv.com \| share: Copy Link	37
(Some Guy)	Police track down suspect after getting a hot, spicy tip source: wtaj.com \| share: Copy Link	6
	More than a dozen gigantic, decades-old Bighead Carp are removed from a Colorado pond Rocko and Spunky are relieved source: msn.com \| share: Copy Link	6
	Spiders on a plane encounters production delay source: yahoo.com \| share: Copy Link	12
	Old and busted: lightning closes airport. New hotness: lightning strike blows out runway source: abc13.com \| share: Copy Link	5
	Texas high bought low source: msn.com \| share: Copy Link	15

Mon May 13, 2024
	Goofus illegally goes off-roading in his lifted truck in death valley. Gallant destroys 125 year old historic structure winching the truck out of the mud when it becomes stuck source: 8newsnow.com \| share: Copy Link	44
	This is the church. Here is the steeple. And now a tornado. To frighten the people source: wjactv.com \| share: Copy Link	15
	BMW driver convicted of gambling with human lives, not knowing how to park or use turn indicators source: kron4.com \| share: Copy Link	23
	The CIA ties up loose end source: wtae.com \| share: Copy Link	17
	We've had one, yes, but what about second funeral? source: bbc.co.uk \| share: Copy Link	7
	If I buy them, do I get to burn Atlanta? source: cnn.com \| share: Copy Link	45
	Woman never thought she would be reunited with her grandmother's face-eating leopard source: wcax.com \| share: Copy Link	12
	Not sure what this Amish guy is trying to pull, but in my day we rode horses when roping cattle source: wgal.com \| share: Copy Link	20
(Some Brooklyn Flier)	Photoshop this kite flier source: brooklynbridgepark.org \| share: Copy Link	18
	Today in Life Imitates Science Fiction: They are getting ready to launch John Crichton in Farscape1 source: msn.com \| share: Copy Link	44
(Some Guy)	Truckers say the IcePick Bandit's attacks on their tires, brake lines & airbags is the biggest crime by the Florida Georgia Line after the invention of Bro Country source: overdriveonline.com \| share: Copy Link	30
	"Yes, we know your son has been receiving treatment for severe aplastic anaemia and had to wait for a stem cell donor and has just undergone chemotherapy, but we really need to discuss his appalling attendance record at school" source: kentonline.co.uk \| share: Copy Link	38
(Some Guy)	Man refuses to let a little thing like mortality interrupt his dad jokes source: eternos.life \| share: Copy Link	31
	Two sisters had a storm in CA badly damage their house in Feb 2019. Their insurance company's adjuster offered them $5k, take it or leave it. They left it, and sued instead. A jury decided $18M including $12M in punitive damages seemed right source: msn.com \| share: Copy Link	97
	Harmful cooking practices result in the deaths of 3.7 million people every year. And no, that doesn't refer to microwaving fish in the office source: aljazeera.com \| share: Copy Link	54
	NYS Craft Brewer's Festival - Canalside Buffalo, June 22, 2-6PM source: fark.com \| share: Copy Link	11
	Photoshop these surfers source: usatoday.com \| share: Copy Link	13
	10 foot 8 bridge carries on where the former 11 foot 8 bridge left off. Bonus: the curbs eat cars, too source: youtube.com \| share: Copy Link	45
(Some Guy)	Abergavenny Man giving Florida Man a run for his money - claims to have found the secret to eternal life. Special appearance by anti-woke Indiana Jenkins source: abergavennychronicle.com \| share: Copy Link	31
(Some Guy)	In Vermont news: residents struggle to understand the reason why a human molar is deeply embedded into a granite wall (warning: article is long, surreal) source: vermontpublic.org \| share: Copy Link	47
	If you're a bus driver and some boarding passengers don't pay fare, the accepted protocol is apparently not to park, lock the bus doors and trap all passengers until bus inspector arrives or everyone pays up. Correction: In Singapore, it is source: asiaone.com \| share: Copy Link	46
	Presenting the first ever Who Wants A TotalFark Subscription Pitch Contest - DIT - Drew source: fark.com \| share: Copy Link	223
	Hiker falls 300 feet on Dog Mountain. That's rough source: koin.com \| share: Copy Link	22
	The 1% are alarmed the rest of us aren't having enough children to work in the mines source: msn.com \| share: Copy Link	211
	On this day in history, in 1568, Mary Queen of Scots was defeated, a military failure which would lead to her subsequent deheading as well source: history.com \| share: Copy Link	15
	Caption this municipal employee source: rd.com \| share: Copy Link	23
	If bird flu doesn't kill us all, antimicrobial resistance probably will. Happy Monday, everyone source: theguardian.com \| share: Copy Link	22
	To the surprise of no one, the NYC-to-Dublin video portal to hell is getting real freaky source: nypost.com \| share: Copy Link	54
	Pop quiz, hotshots: Which A in AAA stands for 'Alien' ? (possible nsfw content on page) source: dailystar.co.uk \| share: Copy Link	29
	Today is National Drew Day, tell us in the comments how you'll be celebrating source: nationaltoday.com \| share: Copy Link	54
	On this day in history, in 1985, the Philadelphia police successfully negotiated a peaceful conclusion to a standoff with a Black separatist group. Not really, they bombed a city block and killed almost everyone source: history.com \| share: Copy Link	161
	Potato News Today ends all contact with Israel amid senseless violence in Palestine, proving that no crimes can be hidden from someone with that many eyes source: potatonewstoday.com \| share: Copy Link	57
	The woman who invented Mother's Day ended up hating the holiday source: msn.com \| share: Copy Link	51
	Most high school senior pranks are harmless fun. This one's a crime against humanity source: nypost.com \| share: Copy Link	59
	Sure, Duke students staged a walkout during his commencement speech, but the real story is Jerry Seinfeld apologized for making Bee Movie so sexualized source: deadline.com \| share: Copy Link	146
	Man saves £30k getting dog's surgery and veneers done at the same time. Article fails to explain why a dog needed veneers in the first place source: mirror.co.uk \| share: Copy Link	16
	Catholic priest sparks outrage after suggesting that Jesus brought his own wood to the crucifixion source: metro.co.uk \| share: Copy Link	62

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